Kanye, Kanye, Kanye, You Ignorant Slut…

Dude, how could you be so heartless? (Sorry, I couldn’t resist)

Last night, the only time I turned away from the stankbomb that was Jay Cutler’s debut with my beloved Chicago Bears (Da Bears!) I turned to the MTV VMAs and this is what I stumbled into:

Sigh.  How bad was this latest “kanyemoment”?

“Congrats @taylorswift13 on your VMA!!! You deserve it more than anyone!! I saw the devil in action when Kanye west stole your mic! U rock!!! @taylorswift13 don’t let that evil steal your thunder!!!!! This is your big night!!”–Heidi Montag

“Tator Tot, you handled yourself with Grace. Kanye, go grow some f-ing balls, bi—! don’t mess w/my lil sis!!”–Kellie Pickler

You know you done f*cked up when you can’t even crack a joke at Kellie Pickler and Heidi Montag for taking time out of their sucking and blowing to diss you.

Anyway, never mind with all of that “outrage”.  Kanye says he sowwy:

“I’M SOOOOO SORRY TO TAYLOR SWIFT AND HER FANS AND HER MOM. I SPOKE TO HER MOTHER RIGHT AFTER AND SHE SAID THE SAME THING MY MOTHER WOULD’VE SAID. SHE IS VERY TALENTED! I LIKE THE LYRICS ABOUT BEING A CHEERLEADER AND SHE’S IN THE BLEACHERS! …………………… I’M IN THE WRONG FOR GOING ON STAGE AND TAKING AWAY FROM HER MOMENT!…………….. BEYONCE’S VIDEO WAS THE BEST OF THIS DECADE!!!! I’M SORRY TO MY FANS IF I LET YOU GUYS DOWN!!!! I’M SORRY TO MY FRIENDS AT MTV. I WILL APOLOGIZE TO TAYLOR 2MRW. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD!!!! EVERYBODY WANNA BOOOOO ME BUT I’M A FAN OF REAL POP CULTURE!!! NO DISRESPECT BUT WE WATCHIN’ THE SHOW AT THE CRIB RIGHT NOW CAUSE … WELL YOU KNOW!!!! I’M STILL HAPPY FOR TAYLOR!!!! BOOOYAAAWWWW!!!! YOU ARE VERY VERY TALENTED!!! I GAVE MY AWARDS TO OUTKAST WHEN THEY DESERVED IT OVER ME… THAT’S WHAT IT IS!!!!!!! I’M NOT CRAZY YALL, I’M JUST REAL. SORRY FOR THAT!!! I REALLY FEEL BAD FOR TAYLOR AND I’M SINCERELY SORRY!!! MUCH RESPECT!!!!!”

Crazy as cats*it on the ceiling.

Anyway, this is a win for everybody, including dumb arsed Kanye.

• Taylor Swift-How many people know this kid today compared to yesterday?  How many of those people will hit up AmazonMP3, ITunes and/or check out her video for the song she won best video for, YOU BELONG TO ME?  I checked out the video and it’s not a bad song at all and the video reminded me of the movie LOVE & BASKETBALL. Yes, it sucked mightily to have your moment of victory tainted by a “Taint” (medical term: perineum, look it up if you don’t know what that is but I’d suggest you wait ’til you get home because it’s more than likely gonna be NSFW) but don’t cry for lil’ Taylor, her popularity and, most importantly, her checking account is gonna be so phat from this mess that AIG will be trying to get at her for a loan.  Besides, when you get dissed by a black man, girl, you instantly get symphathic hood status with the sistas because “they understand, gurl, they understand!”
• Beyonce– classy move calling Tay-Tay (official hood nickname) up to finish her speech before she was so rudely interrupted.  And how conquincidental that Tay-Tay & Beyo were matching in their red dresses? If I was these two, I would be heading to the studio to do a duet ASAP to caysh in on this “drama” before somebody else does something stupid:
  

  D'oh! WTF is going on? Aww, but, at least, she's wearing red, too.

• Twitter–2 seconds after this all jumped off, everybody and their Moms was tweetin’ their digust.  Between Twitter and TMZ, who needs crap like MSNBC or Fox News?
• Serena Williams–if it wasn’t for Kanye, all everyone would be talking about today was how “Serena was gonna choke a bitch”.
• Kanye & MTV–for those of you who are demanding that Kanye gets thrown into the trunk of a car and beaten with a shovel, slow down.  You don’t think that MTV wouldn’t have shut this Boo Boo The Fool down years ago if they thought he was such a problem?  Kanye’s crazier than Joe Wilson on a good day but he sells papers and gets the entire nation to ignore resessions and Middle East wars and talking the next day about how insane he is.  It’s only a matter of time now before MTV locks up this cooky bastard in a Diddy type deal and let him and Amber spit out as much crazy as they want instead of sending him to re-hab where he really belongs.  I shouldn’t say that dude is crazy because he knows who he can pull crap like this on.  Yeah, Kanye, youse a big man, bum rushing a skinny teenaged country singer, I betcha you wouldn’t try that on somebody who would kick.that.ass.  Where’s the Boo-Yaa Tribe when you really need’em?
  

  Please try to run up and diss Boo-Yaa Tribe, Kanye...please????

The only real losers in all of this is We, The People for constantly allowing ourselves to be bamboozled/sucked in by chumps like Kanye, thinking that they are more than the glorified karaoke singers that they are.

Oh, and Michael Jackson takes an “L”  because, once again, a tribute to the King Of Pop was ruined by some “dumb nigg@ sh*t”.